JAM...

I woke up to JAM (just another morning) and was lazily meandering in my house clueless what I am going to do in the next hour.I have always dreamt about this busy organised disciplined day in which every minute is packed with action like those corporate honchos.Haven't got a chance yet.So this one is up there in my wish list (at least for today !!) along with a few more.

A Monday holiday is a dream start to a week,and with a Friday one,possibly makes the best working week.I guess anyone wouldn't mind slogging 13.33 hrs/ day for a 3-day week.Today is Ugadi - New year's day for the Telugus and Kannadigas.Festivals do remind me of home and this is one time when I definitely miss being with my family.For most of us,the upwardly mobile middle class without many strings attached to customs or traditions,its just another holiday.

I called up home,spoke to my dad and found he too had a holiday.Well it wasn't for Ugadi but for a bandh called by ULFA.I have to admit the one common good thing between democracy and militancy is a bandh - the most convenient and peaceful expression of protest.And these days you get unflinching support from the public not becoz we believe in any of the ideological crap or support any of the irrational cause but we get another paid holiday.Is anyone complaining ??

I was about to hung up when my mom quickly reminded me of Poila Boishak (Bengali New Year) just a week from now.My formative years has been a very cherished one.I come from a traditional Bengali family and we had a 'big' (both in number and size) joint family.I was lucky and privileged in some sense to have such an upbringing with my uncles and aunts,cousins,grandpa,grandma all under a single roof.It was a less dramatised version of an Ekkkkkta Kkkkapoor soap saga with similar sounding names of characters but with slightly less intelligence and beauty but realistically loving and love-worthy.Today in the 28th year the bond might appear to have weakened in the conflict of individual interests & aspirations and dwindling ethical values but we still are a close knit family.

I have always wondered and still do isn't it paradoxical that we all are working towards a better future in our own arguably right ways but most of us have left our best days behind.Those moments which can now be only sweet little memories of bygone times;some captured as Kodak moments or some in (auto)biographies or some in Blogs and some simply etched in mind for us to treasure and get solace in moments of recluse.

Conventional wisdom vs Out-of-Box Thinking: Pre-paid SF&B card

I had invited some of my friends for lunch and as one discussion led to another, we inevitably started a thread on the increasing no. of frequent & random checks of two-wheeler drivers in Bangalore.While any sensible citizen would argue what's wrong in that.If it helps avert terrorists threats, improves traffic discipline,ensures deployment of safety rules,brings in responsibility among citizens and dozen other benefits so we should support the system.I completely agree.
My friend then went on to narrate this anecdote of a harrowing experience of a two wheeler driver in Bangalore.This not-so-proactive citizen got caught in one of such proactive checks.Now as luck can run out anytime and anywhere,when he showed his insurance papers he was told that his insurance had expired 3 days back.And he had to pay a spot fine of a few hundreds bucks and also on top of that he had not done a mandated emission test.Add a few more hundreds.
As always there is a second option which was to pay a spot bribe and "get away".My friend's friend did some quick cost benefit analysis and realised he might have to pay a few more spot bribes due to the frequent randoms checks he might potentially encounter towards his 15 km travail to office.Even then he won't make his boss any happier since he'll be late by an hr.Using all his experience and conventional wisdom he renegotiated the fine amount and got a challan (like any responsible citizen should do) of few lesser hundred rupees.He was naturally relieved to make an exit from the first pit stop.As anticipated he did bump into two other check posts and the rest of the story probably is as mundane as hassles of Bangalore traffic.
I kept thinking what can I do to reduce the agony of myself and my fellow 2-wheeler's from such experiences.I started working on this card product.It will be India's first Spot Fine and Bribe card (SF&B) .Sorry what did I just say - a card !!
Well it might appear madness but hear me out there is method in my madness.

1. It will be a pre-paid card issued to every two wheeler driver.


2. A monthly amount will be loaded into the card.


3. Whenever a card holder has to pay a spot fine he needs to pay it through his/her SF&B Prepaid card.


4. There would be a monthly statement send to the card-holder and a copy to the traffic dept to track a person's fines history.


5. If a person exceeds the monthly fine limit his vehicle will be confiscated.


6. In case of a residual balance (if any) it will carry forward to the next month.


7. If a person has shown good track record the traffic police can incentivize the driver with awards (Best Driver of the year) or rewards (progressively lesser fine amounts).


8. Also the spot check traffic personnel would have wireless PoS terminal to enable them to make a real-time transaction.


9. Also if the driver decided to pay the bribe instead of the fine the traffic personnel can select the relevant option and the bribe amount will debited to his bank account. ( I assume some amount of bribing will be legalized by the time this product hits the market !!).

There is a huge benefit in terms of convenience in payment,better customer experience (both driver and traffic personnel) and also intangible benefits to the overall society by improving traffic discipline and minimising red-tapism.

If you can't beat the Bangalore traffic or traffic police At least what I can you assure is an excellent experience in paying the fine or taking the bribe and a quicker transaction time.May be next time the boss might be happy to see you reach office half and hour late instead of an hour !

Cute Indian Accent

I picked the movie "Love Actually" a couple of days back and as I watching it the nth time my attention was grabbed by this particular character.The guy who thought he could impress the American girls with his cute British accent.Infact he does "exceedingly well" to impress the American gals (if you have seen the movie you know what I mean).

That led me to think,unfortunately we can't take pride of a cute Indian accent.Well hereby by accent I mean the mastery over the elocution of the English language.Interestingly enough,our cute Indian accent on one hand symbolises our diversity and on the other easy identification of which community we belong too.Tell me.. how many times have you listened to a person's Indian accent and had confidently concluded he must be a Bong or jumped at joy and retorted "Are you a Mallu ?" or "Su Gujrati che" ....

Well cute or not it does give us '2' things

a) Our regional identify

b) Lots of laughter (MTV Lolla Kutty)

However today if I look around,accent neutralization has become a key to improving one's communication skills and thereby succeeding in the global business environment.

And in our frenzy to neutralize our accent and improve our communication skill (Definition:How fluently and correctly you speak the English language),I fear our generation would fail to pass on this funny British legacy.

Let me tell you the Britishers ruled our country for centuries but never bothered to get a cute Indian accent to impress us.Kolkata gave way to Calcutta....Mumbai to Bombay and Dilli to Delhi...So if colonial imperialism can succeed so can economic imperilism.
why bother what accent we have as long we are talking sense !!

So for me London should give way to Lawndawn.Atleast I can impress my mum ;-)
Wonder what Liz Hurley thinks of Aroon Nair's cute Indian accent.